not as planned

if everything in life goes according to plan, i would have boarded an eva-air flight headed for taipei yesterday, and tomorrow evening, i will be in some queue with a pile of nt notes in my hands, mindlessly buying some dna mdise that will be stashed when i get home. and now, i may be in a stay real shop trying to get the cheapest thing available and asking for more paper bags! ha.
i dont even want to start imagining what happens in the little big egg.


but then, life is hard and reality is harsh la..haha
i try not to let myself get too upset.
and it also seems rather unfitting to allow myself to be too upset when their intention is to bring joy.


and then i also remembered the lyrics in a song:
为了抢快乐 搞的不快乐 为什么人总那么傻呢？
it's true~!


so i try and make merry here
i placed order for dna merchandise online
and i just got the dvds converted from my tapes today!
i will indulge in them tonight!


i must say i am really getting better sleep lately, and that helps.

noise

do you know of days where the world gets so so so noisy that you wish you can disapparate to your bedroom and stay there alone forever with your ipod? with your eyes closed.
this is one of those days.

parents bickering over frivoulous petty most random stuff, strangers chatting incessantly in the backgroud in various accents and languages, their unruly sweaty kids buzzing around and finally, your mobile rings and someone on the other end distrupts your off day guiltlessly.

you are not in a bad mood. you just have too many things on your mind, you need some peace to let them settle, but peace seems to be the most difficult thing.
or maybe... i am in a bad mood. but it is different from being unhappy.

i do miss all the old sodagreen songs.
i do miss sharing my earphones with someone who listens to a song as intently.

i do think that we should share our lives with a someone who can share our favourite tunes. Because the tunes are simply our lives.

i love loving one song for 10 years. i love how the same song moves me the same when I was 18 and am turning 28. i love how i forget that 10 years have passed while listening to the same song, and how it also reminds me that 10 years have passed.

I don't really know how we should feel at 28. It wouldn't be the same as 18 surely. It wouldn't even be the same as 23 or 24 or 25. How are we to feel about life and love at 28? What happens at 38 and 48 and 58 when we are already lamenting so much at 28!

ha...this is so random.
i guess sundays are meant for randoms.

........................................

charlie is not good. not good at all.
and i am such a weakling. we sat at the back of the car, charlie on my right and tears flowed uncontrollably from my left eye. i couldn't breathe yet i couldn't sniff. it will break the silence and it will give me away. (and i didn't know i have became so good at crying that i can subconsciously control which eye my tears flow from!)

anyway, you are right i am so silly.
we will all be strong and you will open your eyes and see all our smiles.

you know how much we love you.

the impending death of cds & pink like candy

I switched the radio on just in time to hear 知足 being played.
oh...the original version is as beautiful as ever!

So today, i wanted to go to this cd shop at capitol. i have recently realised that many cd shops are only carrying the latest album of each artiste now. You cant imagine how hard it is to even find an album from 2007 now in most cd shops. I reckon this is an omen that cds are becoming history, and not to mention that many cd shops have gone out of business. this is worrying and sad. digital music can never be like what an album should be, because you need to autograph the cd sleeve, and the cover and the lyrics book and any other small leaflets inside, and even the case. and you need to browse and browse the lyrics book until they are yellow and have ears. so, from what i remembered, this cd shop at capitol was like an outlet shop with many old cds as i remember buying md's 1st album from there some time back. unfortunately, they have became "gramophone" xianzzz... another indication that cds are going to be phased out as a large part of the shop are movies.

good thing is i still managed to pick up a copy of 168 concert dvd.
i am recently getting very paranoid that cds are disappearing and my vcds will not last, so the big plan is to get a dvd version of anything.

and i picked up a holga camera at peninsula!
decided on the pink one over the red/white finally as pink is ultimately still...my colour. haha.
and just for the record, i will have a matching stay real strap for either one.



now i will wait for the VHS conversion man to pick up my tapes to convert them into reliable long lasting dvds, and we shall have an old school party watching recordings from 10 yrs ago, munching on big round coloured biscuits with crumbs that drop all over the floor, playing with old maid and donkey cards with ears, and taking pictures on film, and scrolling the knob after every shot.

you know for sure that you are aging when you start loving old stuff and fretting about losing them.
and planning old school parties.
haha.

spick and span

so...
i had wanted to move to another blog site and ditch this one as it got kind of gloomy and sulky.
And dusty.

But then again, isn't it just like life?
Can you ever restart life, can you ever disregard your past? well...NO.

So what i think I should do is some housekeeping and hide the recent unhappy posts and embrace the rest that are left behind.
Negative thoughts and unhappy memories are so heavy i just cant seem to move forward with them. So I am going to learn to unload them piece by piece, and hide them in some dark corners of the house and cracks in the walls. That way, they can never haunt me in one complete piece again. ha! Serves the grey shit right!!

I want to give this place a facelift when I have more time and am less tired and addicted to bejeweled.
This shall be part and parcel of my new happiness project which i am embarking on from...let's say today!

I want to try and I want to try to succeed.
Be happy, and be good to myself.
I realised that if I tell myself this more often, I have much higher chances of remebering it and practising it.

oh but, to wyt.aqdmy: though the posts have been hidden, I will not forget what you wrote. and so, this is back to you:

常常我闭上眼睛 听到了海的呼吸 是你
温柔的蓝色潮汐 告诉我没有关系
(: (: (:

and to end...
at the end of 笑忘歌's mtv, it was said that:
只有自己 能还自己快乐
we never stop learning from them, do we?