垃圾
i am dumping all these here. It is very long. But just
make sure you people read the 2nd last paragraph.
--------------------------------------------------------
Just 3 weeks in the job, I had one of the worst experiences
I ever had at work. Things I only saw on television. Things I
only heard from people, but never imagined will happen to me.
I fell. I fell sick emotionally, then physically.
She did a shoddy job handing over to me. She claimed she lost the important emails. She claimed all the documents were left for me in the drawer and the computer, but she couldn't find them herself. Her handing over of the job to me was to go through the brand founders and philosophy, and to ask me to "handle what comes along when I open the emails everyday". I am so lost in the job, and my boss was as new.
The first day my new boss and I took over the job officially, we made a wrong move. It should not have been blown up so big, but it did. And I am close to 100% sure she gave us away. It's not surprising, since she's infamous for standing on the enemy's side. The rest who knew this was a wrong move did nothing. They even followed what they knew was wrong just to watch us fall and suffer the consequences. With this, we had a bad start. Bad name and bad relationships.
She, together with the people from the other side, isolated me at the show. She knew I know nothing, because she passed on zero information, because she wanted to help me follow up on the show, in her own words. But, she threw me to check on all the backyard stuff, the set up, the stage, the lights, the music. The people from the other side knew I know nothing. They pretended to ask for my views just to make me look bad for having no views. She came back all dressed up to be in time to welcome the VIPS and claim the credit and enjoy the glamour.
She did not have any intention to introduce me to all people I need to know. In fact, she isolated me from them. I stood beside them waiting to be introduced. She pulled them away to take pictures, and she left me standing there. I knew I need to build better relationships with these people, especially with the bad start, but she gave me no chance at all. She told my boss we need not entertain the VIPs after the event. She brought them out clubbing after that.
After the show, they drank and they danced and they hugged and kissed. I stood at the side, feeling disgusted, but I had no courage to leave the place. I knew I cant leave before the VIPs, but I was as forgotten as the backdrop. I stood far away, taking frequent glances, so I can at least say bye to the VIPs before they leave. When they were leaving, I swallowed all my pride, and went up just to say bye. I did not know what else I could have done. The onlookers were laughing at me in their hearts, I could hear it.
I was all alone, with my assistant, who is just as new and more lost. The other company had at least 5 people in their team throughout. My bosses came before the show started and left when the last model strutted offstage. I faced all these alone.
I felt like such a big loser. I felt like an idiot. I held my tears back throughout, but I don't know why I had no more tears when I was finally alone on the train back. People told me they liked my dress and my hair. I did not dare to take a second look at myself in that hair and dress because it all seemed like a nightmare.
All these aside, I knew there are talks in the company. That I had been lazy, that I had not been serious at work, that I am incompetent. That I am so young, how dare I tried to take up this job. That I was supposed to resign but now I got a promotion fast and got what I asked for. There are many versions. Of course, nobody dared say who they heard from. Some said the staff, some said people from which and which store, which and which department. It seems like so many people are out to watch me fail. I lost faith. I started to suspect people. I started to doubt myself. I started to dislike my job. I dreamt about my job every single night and I slept badly.
I felt terrible. I asked why I never had any ill intention towards anybody, but they had to hurt me like that. I work hard and I learn humbly. I respect the seniors and experienced even though they are my subordinates. I don't know what I did wrong.
I did not ask the company for anything. What wrong did I do to fill in my choice in the career preference form. Everyone was given the form and this chance! I asked for this jobscope because I like the people and the environment here, and this is the only position I think can allow me to stay and learn new things. So that I need not leave the company. I can easily take the same pay, and let all things be status quo. I will be so comfortable and secure, and I can leave the office on time everyday. Why do I have to court trouble. Because this job is glam? Nah~ I am in this industry long enough to know that retail is not glam!
I had fever one day after the show, I reckoned it really made me sick in every way.
I met some nice friends on friday and saturday. I went ikea with my family this morning. I read the a book on buddhism before I dozd off just now.
The author said:
" Every friend or foe is a dear Bodhisattva. who never fails to teach me somthing. It is me who often fail to learn. I feel glad glad glad."
"All the encounters nasty and pleasant with 101 types of personalities are precious. The choice is ours - to perceive "enemies" as Bodhisattvas with the best disguises. with tough lessons to deliver, or to perceive them as "beings from hell" out to wreck our lives. The wiser choice is obvious."
I feel much better now. I know which choice to take.
I watched the last episode of 白色巨塔 just now. I really like 蔡岳勳導演's shows. It touches my heart so deeply. It gave me some inspiration and enlightenment too.
I want to discard all these here so I can get them out of my heart. I do not want to bring them along anymore. I had been having this feeling that, before my old wounds can heal, new ones come along and I got no time to recover. They accumulate, and I feel I can never climb out scarless.
So I want to leave all the work unhappiness here. I hope I can emerge from all unpleasant incidents to be a better person, in all ways. I do not want to harbour hatred. I want to have love. Love makes people happy. Hatred does the opposite.
I am still, and ever so thankful to my parents and all my
lovely friends. And now, I just hope my dear friend who
is fighting so hard with his sickness will be fine.
Tomorrow will be a better day.
I will work harder to be a better person.
make sure you people read the 2nd last paragraph.
--------------------------------------------------------
Just 3 weeks in the job, I had one of the worst experiences
I ever had at work. Things I only saw on television. Things I
only heard from people, but never imagined will happen to me.
I fell. I fell sick emotionally, then physically.
She did a shoddy job handing over to me. She claimed she lost the important emails. She claimed all the documents were left for me in the drawer and the computer, but she couldn't find them herself. Her handing over of the job to me was to go through the brand founders and philosophy, and to ask me to "handle what comes along when I open the emails everyday". I am so lost in the job, and my boss was as new.
The first day my new boss and I took over the job officially, we made a wrong move. It should not have been blown up so big, but it did. And I am close to 100% sure she gave us away. It's not surprising, since she's infamous for standing on the enemy's side. The rest who knew this was a wrong move did nothing. They even followed what they knew was wrong just to watch us fall and suffer the consequences. With this, we had a bad start. Bad name and bad relationships.
She, together with the people from the other side, isolated me at the show. She knew I know nothing, because she passed on zero information, because she wanted to help me follow up on the show, in her own words. But, she threw me to check on all the backyard stuff, the set up, the stage, the lights, the music. The people from the other side knew I know nothing. They pretended to ask for my views just to make me look bad for having no views. She came back all dressed up to be in time to welcome the VIPS and claim the credit and enjoy the glamour.
She did not have any intention to introduce me to all people I need to know. In fact, she isolated me from them. I stood beside them waiting to be introduced. She pulled them away to take pictures, and she left me standing there. I knew I need to build better relationships with these people, especially with the bad start, but she gave me no chance at all. She told my boss we need not entertain the VIPs after the event. She brought them out clubbing after that.
After the show, they drank and they danced and they hugged and kissed. I stood at the side, feeling disgusted, but I had no courage to leave the place. I knew I cant leave before the VIPs, but I was as forgotten as the backdrop. I stood far away, taking frequent glances, so I can at least say bye to the VIPs before they leave. When they were leaving, I swallowed all my pride, and went up just to say bye. I did not know what else I could have done. The onlookers were laughing at me in their hearts, I could hear it.
I was all alone, with my assistant, who is just as new and more lost. The other company had at least 5 people in their team throughout. My bosses came before the show started and left when the last model strutted offstage. I faced all these alone.
I felt like such a big loser. I felt like an idiot. I held my tears back throughout, but I don't know why I had no more tears when I was finally alone on the train back. People told me they liked my dress and my hair. I did not dare to take a second look at myself in that hair and dress because it all seemed like a nightmare.
All these aside, I knew there are talks in the company. That I had been lazy, that I had not been serious at work, that I am incompetent. That I am so young, how dare I tried to take up this job. That I was supposed to resign but now I got a promotion fast and got what I asked for. There are many versions. Of course, nobody dared say who they heard from. Some said the staff, some said people from which and which store, which and which department. It seems like so many people are out to watch me fail. I lost faith. I started to suspect people. I started to doubt myself. I started to dislike my job. I dreamt about my job every single night and I slept badly.
I felt terrible. I asked why I never had any ill intention towards anybody, but they had to hurt me like that. I work hard and I learn humbly. I respect the seniors and experienced even though they are my subordinates. I don't know what I did wrong.
I did not ask the company for anything. What wrong did I do to fill in my choice in the career preference form. Everyone was given the form and this chance! I asked for this jobscope because I like the people and the environment here, and this is the only position I think can allow me to stay and learn new things. So that I need not leave the company. I can easily take the same pay, and let all things be status quo. I will be so comfortable and secure, and I can leave the office on time everyday. Why do I have to court trouble. Because this job is glam? Nah~ I am in this industry long enough to know that retail is not glam!
I had fever one day after the show, I reckoned it really made me sick in every way.
I met some nice friends on friday and saturday. I went ikea with my family this morning. I read the a book on buddhism before I dozd off just now.
The author said:
" Every friend or foe is a dear Bodhisattva. who never fails to teach me somthing. It is me who often fail to learn. I feel glad glad glad."
"All the encounters nasty and pleasant with 101 types of personalities are precious. The choice is ours - to perceive "enemies" as Bodhisattvas with the best disguises. with tough lessons to deliver, or to perceive them as "beings from hell" out to wreck our lives. The wiser choice is obvious."
I feel much better now. I know which choice to take.
I watched the last episode of 白色巨塔 just now. I really like 蔡岳勳導演's shows. It touches my heart so deeply. It gave me some inspiration and enlightenment too.
I want to discard all these here so I can get them out of my heart. I do not want to bring them along anymore. I had been having this feeling that, before my old wounds can heal, new ones come along and I got no time to recover. They accumulate, and I feel I can never climb out scarless.
So I want to leave all the work unhappiness here. I hope I can emerge from all unpleasant incidents to be a better person, in all ways. I do not want to harbour hatred. I want to have love. Love makes people happy. Hatred does the opposite.
I am still, and ever so thankful to my parents and all my
lovely friends. And now, I just hope my dear friend who
is fighting so hard with his sickness will be fine.
Tomorrow will be a better day.
I will work harder to be a better person.
posted by joey at 11:15 下午
3 comments
