仿佛上一分钟 你还陪在我左右
还以为我们会开花结果

回忆在夜里闹得很凶
我想我可以明白你所有的痛
想让你知道我懂 却担心言不由衷

我们都接受 一定是彼此不够成熟
在爱情里分不了轻重
诚实的过了头 不能退后也无法向前走

This is a bit back dated...but you all know I can talk about such things forever no matter how late.

I want to tell the whole world I went for Initial D gala premier on 21 june. Gala premier means the appearance of the cast in the cinema! And the cast refers to a Jay Chou, a Shawn Yue and an Edison Chen (and 2 more negligible uncles whom I assumed forked out from their own pocket to tag along).

I mean...JAY ley!! SHAWN ley!! and EDISON ley!!!
I mean................this should be one of the most gorgeous** combination of stars in my entire idol experience history.

I pestered VERY HARD for the tix!

And ya, having the stars in the cinema only meant they appear before the movie to give a brief introduction, nothing more than that.

BUT!! BUT!! BUT!! being us, who usually have some unexplainable yuan fen with stars, as we casually (without any squeezing, sweating, running or pushing) went up to the cinema and was still trying to grasp the situation, this Ah B (negligible uncle as mentioned earlier) walked past us giving some time for us to settle ourselves...and NEXT CAME JAY!!! JAY!!! you know!! JAY!!! at 2 arms length away though seperated by barricades! but it's a JAY!!!!! How many people can come so close to JAY!

I watched his fingers swept past my friends' as I contemplated whether to let loose of myself in Isetan premises. SHIT! but i already missed his touch! and I suddenly WOKE UP! in time to reach out for shawn and edison. But sigh...still took me some time to get over missing JAY's talented fingers!

Anyway, it was fun! And here is a photo at the premier to share! Thanks to the persistent and rewarded for her persistence HW!




**Disclaimer: CXH is most gorgeous as individual, but I am talking about a "combination" here.

OH YES!!! OH YES!!! OH YES!!! OH YES!!! OH YES!!!
MD is coming for Fireworks Festival!!!
I knew they (he) wont bear to forsake us (me) for a whopping eight months!

All thanks to my Dad who read about it secretly on the papers on Friday, but did not inform his daughter because he assumed she will SURELY know about it!

Sigh, sorry to disappoint you daddy! I promise to raise my standard of xiaoness for them to avoid making you 2 lao ren jia flip through the papers frantically to find the article for me and nearly started a fight on who was the one who messed up the papers!

I'm sorry! But it also teaches you to inform me IMMEDIATELY the next time. DO NOT ASSUME because sometimes your daughter may be feeling a little too low to track her idols on a daily basis.

Anyway, the point is...there is something to look forward to in life again!! I got so ecstatic that I skipped and hopped and springed (YES! a fatty who is ecstatic enough can really SPRING!) around the house so madly that my mum started reproaching dad.

It's hard for some of you to understand my joy, i know. But it's really news which is good enough to make me blog! I am so looking forward to going crazy over them and their performance again!

When you think of me and feel sad, try to imagine this...

One day God came to you and asked you to make a choice between him taking my life away or him taking me away from you.
Which will you choose?
the latter...I am sure.

At least you can still say goodnight to me, at least you still hear my voice, and at least I can still embrace you tight when you need warmth.

Of course, God knew you would be heartbroken, and so he gave you one more choice. To let him help you erase all your memories of us or to continue to remember.
Which will you choose then?
the latter again...(I hope)

At least you remember how you were once deeply loved and in love, at least you know someone out there still treasures you so although she chose not to stay by your side, and at least you know there is someone there who will always be willing to embrace you when you need warmth.

So, my dearest, why should we continue to tear at night and hold back tears in the day when God had actually granted us the better of both choices.

It's very difficult, for me too. To learn to be alone, to learn to take care of myself, and to learn not to take things for granted. To learn how to be confident again, to learn to cope with insecurity, and to learn to take the future in my own hands.

I know, it may be much more difficult for you.

But, we'll learn how... ... eventually...

Meanwhile, remember that I will always be praying for you.


(20 june 05, monday)